I’m not sure I’ve exactly realized that it’s my birthday yet. It probably has something to do with how I’ve barely grasped the fact that we’re already in August. Anyway, I certainly don’t feel like I should be twenty-one. I’m still a little kid and I will forever be a little kid. Each year it seems as though it’s getting increasingly difficult to remember what has happened in the last year. Not because my memory is bad, but because my concept of time is. A year ago seems like both a lifetime and a day.
I was doing some of the general birthday reflections on the past year and I had a moment of feeling like I had accomplished absolutely nothing (okay, I went to Canada and California and proved that I’m capable of not (totally) freaking out in large cities when on my own). The more I thought about the idea of “accomplishments” I realized that it’s not so much about what I’ve done as simply being happy with where I am.
And I have done a lot – it’s just that not all of those things have outward or physical proof. They’re not all things that I can see and show to people or hold in my hands. Some things are completely internal. This has been an incredible year of really deep healing. Other things are projects that are still in their beginning stages, things I’m holding close and not quite ready to release out into the wider world.
Much of this year was also taken up by rather draining projects. But in their own way those were good too because they taught me that “no” is sometimes the best answer. I learned to respect myself on a deeper level. With every year that passes I’m learning more about myself. I’m becoming more and more me with every day that goes by – and I’m learning how best to convey my me-ness to others. As I learn how to respect my introverted nature I’m also learning how to help other people understand it – and I think everyone knows how much happier life is when you and the people that surround you have a good understanding and respect for all of your little eccentricities. The more I understand myself the less I think that something is missing or that I’m in some way broken.
This year has been so much about the little moment-to-moment things. Though nothing hugely monumental has happened I’m happy with where I’m at and where I’m headed. I’ve found so much joy in the smallest of things. I don’t feel as though I need earth-shaking events to make my life worthwhile. I’m doing what I love – and constantly working to create a space and a life where I can spend even more time doing what truly nourishes my soul. In all of the little, lovely moments I’ve found more of myself. I suppose that might also come from my extremely introverted personality. Life has been such an incredible learning experience and I will never stop growing, never stop striving to learn as much as I possibly can. And I still have a whole lifetime ahead of me. It’s really exciting to think about that. I’ve hardly gotten started yet – there are so many unimaginable adventures and wonders still ahead of me. So many things to create, stories to write, experiences to gather.
I’m excited to see where this next year takes me.
I’ve been meaning to make a coconut cake for a while now and my birthday seemed as good an occasion as any. This cake was everything I’d hoped it would be. It’s a rather dense cake, but both the cake and the frosting have a sort of melt-in-your-mouth quality about them. There is just a touch of sweet from the honey and the coconut flavor is spot-on – present without being overpowering. Despite the dense consistency of the cake it tastes rather light and summery. I choose to keep things really simple with the flavor, but you could easily throw in some spices like cardamom or cinnamon, add some berries or summer fruit, fresh herbs (personally I think basil would be fantastic), cacao nibs, chopped nuts or pretty much anything else you can imagine. There is also the option of making the cake and/or frosting sweeter. Do what suits your taste buds!
Coconut Cake
Makes one 9-inch cake
1 cup almond flour
½ cup coconut flour
½ cup buckwheat flour
½ cup sorghum flour
½ cup shredded coconut
2 tbsp. psyllium husk powder
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
Pinch of salt
2 ½ cups coconut milk
6 tbsp. coconut oil, melted
¼ cup honey (or pure maple syrup)
2 tsp. vanilla extract
Coconut Cashew Frosting
Makes about 2 ½ cups
Note: This makes much more than you’ll need to frost the cake, but it goes good with pretty much anything: porridge, smoothies, fruit, crackers, by the spoonful….
1 cup full fat coconut milk
1 cup cashews, soaked overnight
5 tbsp. coconut oil (soft but not melted)
2 tsp. vanilla extract
Honey, to taste
For the cake: Preheat the oven to 350°F and line a 9-inch cake pan with parchment paper.
Combine the almond, coconut, buckwheat and sorghum flours in a large mixing bowl and stir well to be sure there aren’t any clumps.
Place the shredded coconut in a skillet over medium heat until lightly toasted. Stir often to prevent burning. (Coconut goes from lightly toasted to blackened pretty quickly.)
Add the toasted coconut, psyllium husk powder, baking powder and soda, and salt to the flour and stir to combine.
Melt the coconut oil over low heat. Remove from the heat and add the coconut milk, honey and vanilla. Whisk until combined.
Pour the wet ingredients over the dry and stir until completely combined. (The batter is going to be a little thick and not quite cake batter-like, but that’s okay.) Scoop the batter into your lined cake pan and smooth the top.
Place in the oven and bake for 45-50 minutes. It’s done when golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the top of the cake comes out clean.
Let the cake cool completely before frosting.
For the frosting: Place all of the ingredients in a blender or food processor and blend until smooth. If you’d like a sweeter frosting add more honey (or even a few pitted Medjool dates).
Scoop the frosting into a glass jar or container and set in the fridge for at least an hour to firm up a bit.
Frost the cooled cake and enjoy!!
Much love,
Lane
